Gone Gone Gone
by DarkAndTwistyGrey
Summary: Post 11x08 Risk / Meredith/Derek


**Chapter 1**

* * *

><p><strong>Nobody's memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up. We lose track of time. We're in one place, then another, and it all feels like one long, inescapable moment. It's just like my mother used to say: the carousel never stops turning. Nobody's memory is perfect or complete. We jumble things up. We lose track of time. We're in one place, then another, and it all feels like one long, inescapable moment. So what does it mean? What do we take away? Which pieces will haunt us? Hurt us? End us? Inspire us? It's just like my mother used to say. The carousel never stops turning. You can't get off.<strong> Meredith Grey; Risk

* * *

><p>When Meredith comes home with the kids, Derek is gone. He left. He really left and is on his way to Washington D.C. to work for the president on his giant brain-mapping project. Maybe it is better that he left before she and the kids were coming home. So there would not be any unnecessary confrontations, considering that everything´s already decided. She pulls herself together for their children's sake to make them feel safe and like nothing is out of order.<p>

Except for the fact that everything is out of order...

_He´s gone. For real._

_He left._

_He left. Left. Left. He left._

_He is gone._

_Gone._

That sounded unbelievably real and final. A clean cut.

Meredith tried to think of something else. But it did not work. Derek was everywhere. She saw him in Bailey and then there were all the photos with them in their home. Their home that Derek build for them. These photos were reminders of happier times. Meredith swallowed. But now he is gone. Some part of her felt relieved that he was in D.C. now. He resented her for not coming with him and with that it was not easy to live with. _He is gone._

"Mama." Zola interrupted Meredith´ thoughts with her little, sweet voice.

"Yes, Zo?" "I am hungry." She complained and wrinkled her nose, so that Meredith gave a slight smile and says: "I think we can do something about that, Zo. You hungry too, Bailey?" After her Little Boy nodded, she signaled them to follow her to the kitchen. "Let´s see..." She began. Suddenly she heard a loud noise that did not came from Bailey or Zola.

She looked up, startled but soon recognized Amelia standing in the doorway.

"Hey." She just said. No comment about Derek.

"Where is my brother?" She asked, while grabbing the orange juice standing on the counter and poured herself a glas of it and then for the Kids. Meredith avoided Amelia´s question, but felt her sister in law watching her.

"He left." Meredith answered and faced Amelia.

"He left for D.C. That´s what you are saying, right?" "He did." Meredith confirmed, still not wanted to talk about Derek leaving yet. "How are you with him leaving? I mean it is none of my business, but if you wanna talk, I´ll be there." Amelia told her.

Meredith nodded, pressed her lips together and just wanted to disappear.

"I am fine." She answered and even though Amelia did not believe her, she accepted her answer and did not pressed for more.

_Newsflash: I am fine._

_I am perfectly fine._

Meredith really appreciated her sister in law being here and help with the children.

* * *

><p>Derek is waiting in the waiting area of the Seattle-Tacoma Airport. He stares at the wall. Suddenly there is a announcement for flight to Washington D.C. "Passengers for flight 2642333 to Washington D.C. Get ready for Boarding." Before he shut down his phone he wrote a quick message to Meredith to let her know he is leaving the state: <em>I´m getting ready for Boarding. Take care. Derek.<em>

It´s the least he can do.

He sighed. One part of him says it´s wrong to blame it on her. She is not the only one at fault here. It is on both of them. And now he feels bad about leaving, even tough he knows he has to, if he wants to have a second Chance.

"Sir, you need to... " "I know." Derek cut him off, took his carry-on cabbage on goes to the Business- class check-in. When he finally sat down on his seat in the plane, he wasn´t sure what to feel. Sure, he was going to work for the president, but his Meredith was here. In Seattle. How will his decision affect their children? How will it affect them and their relationship? What will this do to them, to his Family?

Because Meredith, Zola and Bailey are his family now.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Sorry, if there is something wrong with the content. I have never seen this Episode. I´ve only seen the two-minutes Clip on YouTube, where Derek tells Meredith that he took the job in D.C. Very sad, this scene, actually... Hopefully they will fix this mess without destroying the MerDer couple...**_


End file.
